To be my age, or to not be my age. That is the question.

Hey, all, so quick update before we jump in, let me just give yall a quick update:

I started college classes at 14.

I officially graduated high school at 16.

I got my ABA Approved Paralegal’s Certificate at 17.

I’m currently 18, almost 19 next week. I’m a senior, I have a few part-time jobs, and I’m looking forward to completing my Bachelor’s degree this May.

I’ve worked my booty off to get here, and it hasn’t been easy. The worst part for me is trying to find my identity in either my age, or my grade. I can lead with “Hi, I’m Audrey, I’m a senior,” or “Hi, I’m Audrey, I’m 18.” Either way, I’m going to be assumed to be something I’m not, like significantly older, or a freshman student. Nothing ticks me off more than being labeled something that isn’t true about me, but I guess the real question is, why do I have to have to define myself by either of these labels at all?

Last week, I was in an interview for a full-time gig. I tended to make everything about my age. I realized I was doing it, formally apologized, and began focusing on my skills and qualities more. Unfortunately, I do this often. I get so wrapped up in my young age that it becomes the only thing I define myself by.

Similarly, however, I get wrapped up in being a senior. With impending adulthood (and I mean true, post-graduate adulthood, with apartments, and chores, and grad school, and *gasp* work!) it’s very hard to mature fast enough to feel like I’m up to speed. The folks that are my age don’t quite understand the extreme stress I’m walking into, but the people that are in my grade seem a whole lot more prepared. After all, they’ve got two years of growing up that I haven’t gotten. It’s hard to relate to people at school because of this.

By the way, I got the job. I very well might be the youngest person there, but I felt that it wouldn’t be like me to pass up an opportunity like this one. I wanted to learn how to be an adult, this is my chance to throw myself in.

Something that I’ve learned: I have a lot of growing up to do. There are so many experiences that I haven’t gotten yet that I feel like won’t come in college but in the real world. If I’m meant to be in the workforce at 19, then so be it! It doesn’t matter that I’m young, what matters is that I grow to be someone I can be proud of down the road. People say “age is just a number” and that’s true, so why should I keep defining myself by it. Who cares how old I am?

Oh, bouncers. That’s right.

 

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